A ROSE BY ANY OTHER NAME : The final President of the USA has issued an executive order overnight renaming the republic Trumperica.
The decision to rechristen the leader of the free world is believed to have been taken after the consumption of “more than the usual diet cokes with too many hamburgers”. It’s believed the Commander in Chief of forced repatriation developed a “meat sweat” and was pushed over the edge by a former exploding battery manufacturer high on prescribed medication.
”It’s how we roll now,” a White House insider told LCD Views, “and before we’re done there will be nothing that isn’t called Trump.”
Democrats in Washington have been tightlipped about the change, preferring to console themselves with the thought they can reverse the change in four years time. Maybe. Rather than break with convention and oppose a republican administration “overly much”.
For their part Mr Trump’s republican lapdogs have sat nicely and issued numerous social media messages which translate as “Woof! Woof!”.
”It’s a Great Leap Forward,” one said off the record. “When I get my turn to be President I can rename the country after myself too. I think it’s what our forefathers would have wanted. Alongside school shootings and the fetishisation of deporting anyone who is the wrong colour.”
It’s not clear how global mapmakers will greet the name change however, with many already struggling to draw anything but a black hole where the former USA is located.
”At least it’s accurate,” one commented, “The country is now a fascist theme park so Trumperica is a good name. I don’t think I could have digested something new like The Democratic Republic of North America and Canada. The blatant hypocrisy would have been a goose step too far.”