TO GAIN THE WHOLE WORLD BUT TO LOSE YOUR SOUL: It’s a small price to pay. Like gaining your sovereignty but losing your economy.
The Conservative Party leadership race is rapidly approaching its nadir. The race to the bottom has yielded a straight choice between two unpalatable options. The nouveau riche upstart from the Colonies, or the swivel eyed inbred traitor. Fishy Rishi or Loony Liz?
It’s too early to pick a winner. Or a loser. And we are so far down the rabbit hole, so far through the looking glass, that it’s impossible to tell victory from defeat. We are going to need a bigger Lewis Carroll metaphor.
Which brings us to Liz Truss, the mutant offspring of Humpty Dumpty and the Queen of Hearts. She wants to win the hearts and minds of the Conservative Party membership, who will determine her fate. She will set out to achieve this by being both heartless and mindless.
“I’m bringing back the caring, compassionate face of Brexit Britain,” intoned Truss in her robotic voice. “I’m in favour of tolerance and inclusivity for all.”
How is the cruel, expensive and illegal Rwanda policy caring and compassionate, asked a brave hack.
“Off with his head!” screeched Truss. “When I use a word like ‘compassionate’, it means exactly what I want it to mean!”
The summary execution of one of the despicable wokerati will have gladdened many a moneyed black void in the Home Counties.
How did you journey from being a Lib Dem member and a Remainer to a hardline Brexiter? What are your true principles, asked another daring soul.
“Principles are just a commodity to be bought and sold,” snapped Truss. “Follow the money! Like I did. In politics, the best lesson I ever learned was how to empty my pretty little head and slavishly obey the highest bidder.”
It will be pork barrel politics from Prime Minister Pork Markets.