WIN WIN WIN: Forget Brexit Dividends, now we have Covid Bonuses! To every downside, there is an equal and opposite upside. Except Brexit, of course, which only has upsides by definition, as we all know.
Workers up and down the land are dropping like flies. Although Boris Johnson and his sociopathic cronies Got Covid Done, the virus itself is immune to government propaganda and is making merry.
The upshot of this is that the frail, elderly and unlucky are being removed from the population. Many more are being incapacitated. This means more work for the fit and healthy patriotic British people to do.
Many people are having to cover for covid-affected colleagues. This, claims Johnson, is a great op[portunity to claim lots of overtime.
Johnson made the claim at an event styled “The Man, The Myth, The Magic”. This has nothing to do with Vladimir Putin, or even Marcus Rashford. It is simply a vehicle to promote Boris Johnson in lieu of his having to do any actual work. In policy terms, it bears about as much resemblance to genuine progress as creative accounting does to financial accuracy.
Johnson took the stage amid a flurry of dry ice, to rousing music. He ruffled his already untidy hair, gave his trademark faux-bashful grin, and took the podium with the same lack of grace as Donald Trump.
“Friends, Russian countrymen, lend me your money!” he stuttered, to a standing ovation. “Yes, yes, yes, no, yes, we will show the EU how to buy influence and give backhanders to your mates! We will fight them on the beaches, we will overcome, we will we will rock you! More sick people means more overtime for those who are British enough to stay fit and well! Yes! Wiff waff!”
And it’s almost certain that Johnson will claim that this was the intended outcome all along.