GRIN WHEN YOU’RE WINNING : Most people on the continent of Europe are shackled to domestic suppliers for their utilities, and often enough even for food. The people of Britain are different and can now seize the opportunities of a global marketplace “thanks to Brexit”.
Much has been written in the press over recent days about the soaring costs of living in the UK now that it has regained its sovereignty. Doomsayers, worrywarts, girly swots and the terror of modern dialogue, the woke, are wringing their hands over inflation headed towards 10%, but they miss the point of Brexit.
“If you are staring down the barrel of a gas bill that means you can’t afford food then you really need to try harder,” the Tory MP for Bassetdog-in-Baguette tells LCD Views. “Why would anyone choose to stay handcuffed to an old utility supplier when they can strike a deal with one in China or Brazil? Russia, India, Patagonia, all these markets are ready and open to trade with Brits. It’s hard to have much sympathy for a voter who can’t understand how a simple block of butter became so expensive when he hasn’t even tried to import one from Alaska.”
The advice is of course just a welcome extension to the logic of Brexit.
“We had to free ourselves from the largest trading bloc on Earth in order to send Liz Truss globetrotting striking new deals from a much weaker position,” the MP notes. “This was a stroke of genius. No one saw us coming. People will sign anything. They’re so surprised. So imagine what an individual Brit can now do with their sovereignty if they just get on the phone to the other side of the world? If 67m is greater than 500m in terms of deal making, what is the power of one?!”