HUMPTY DUMPTY SAT ON A WALL: Egg-headed Health Secretary Sajid Javid is preaching to the unvaccinated again. Get jabbed, is his message, unless you don’t feel like it, in which case I have some Lateral Flow Tests to sell you.
In a statement which demonstrates his remarkable humanity, The Saj applauds those who do not accept vaccination. This, he says, shows an extraordinary selflessness, by leaving more vaccinations available for the feeble minded sheeple who insist on having them.
Prevention may be better than cure, but the corollary of that is that prevention is a lot less profitable. Nobody got rich by closing borders and giving away LFTs. Infect the public, create a market. That’s the mantra. Remember, Granny died in order to stimulate the economy. It’s a noble sacrifice, on a par with all those innocent young men who perished in the trenches for Britain.
Then, as now, we are being ruled by the finest specimens that the Upper Classes and the Public School system can produce. It’s the Charge Of The Light Brigade, only with viruses, not cannonballs. Dulce et decorum est, pro Boris Johnson mori.
However, there is a small problem with reducing the population to zero. There would be nobody to buy these totally reliable LFTs. And with a success rate of 52%, that’s absolutely overwhelming, and nothing at all like tossing a coin.
Remember, says The Saj, although prevention may be better than cure, it’s far too late for that now. All that is left is the profit motive, and a reminder that whatever doesn’t kill you makes you stronger. Take that, long covid! Old wives’ tales beat facts hands down any day.
After all, if you are not actually dead, then there is no reason to skive off work or claim Universal Credit. All you need is one negative LFT and you’re good to go.
And we all know what happened to Humpty Dumpty.