IT’S TIME THAT WE SHOWED EACH OTHER A BIT OF RESPECT: There is no place for disrespect in politics. At least, that’s the case if you are talking about the party in power.
The Minister for Culture, Innit, Nadine Dorries, is to oversee Operation Gobstopper. This will ensure that anyone found to be abusing their right to free speech (by criticising the government) is silenced.
Clearly, respect flows both ways. But the government is by definition respectable. Lefties, who fail to appreciate the great works of the Johnson government, are therefore disrespectful. They deserve no respect, and Dorries is therefore well within her rights to tell them to f*ck off.
“The moment The Left admit that we won, they lost, and therefore that we are right, then dialogue might be possible,” explained Department for Culture, Innit wonk Snowy Flake. “They just need to understand that. But if they will insist on bringing up the same tired, old rubbish about sleaze and corruption and democracy, then it is our patriotic duty to tell them to f*ck off. And Nadine is exactly the right person to do it!”
Flake explained that it is not disrespectful to use bad language in the correct context.
“The finest swear words have their place,” he said. “England is the only country under discussion here. Any reference to the treacherous tinpot realms beyond our English Channel will be repelled with English Anglo-Saxon expletives. It’s simply a question of patriotism. Bow down to Boris or get stuffed, that’s Nadine’s message.”
So Dorries will be Minister for Telling Lefties to F*ck Off, and the tabloids will lap it up. The press will become an even more antisocial media.
A useful rule, in addition, that was sneaked out without fanfare, is that it will become illegal to contradict Nadine Dorries, or indeed anyone else in the Tory party. Naysayers will feel the full force of Operation gobstopper.
And any mention of Brexit will result in deportation. To Albania, Ascension Island, or somewhere else suitably foreign.