NAUGHTY BUT NICE : DOWNING STREET has broken its silence over Prime Minister Boris Johnson’s failure to wear a mask during a recent hospital visit.
The visit occurred last Monday at the same time as Parliament was holding a debate on corruption, following the complete miscarriage of justice that disgraced, former corporate lobbyist Owen Paterson was a victim of.
“Mr Johnson was merely attempting to encourage a local business in the North,” a 10 Downing Street source told LCD Views. “It’s part of his levelling up agenda. He’s not just going to sit at home in London listening to Carrie drone on about how unsuitable the latest nanny is when there’s a country to save!”
It was further explained that it was not the PM’s fault that he missed the parliamentary debate on corruption as “he’s already an expert in the subject and could not have learned anything by attending”.
But when pressed as to the PM’s failure to mask up in the hospital, the source was unrepentant.
“We’ve got just the greatest pandemic numbers. Not many people know this, but the UK is leading the world with the virus. We did not get to this pole position by having a Prime Minister too weak to face the virus head first and take it on the chin.”
There was also though a secondary reason for Mr Johnson presenting himself in the most infectious manner possible to overworked and exhausted, fully masked hospital staff.
“To be perfectly frank he thought he was visiting a strip club. He was bloody disappointed to find it was not a medical themed one but an actual hospital. He had his expectations exceptionally high for a fun afternoon. Even the only alcohol present was in hand sanitiser and you just try drinking that without a piece of cucumber.”