IMPROVISED GOVERNMENT : The UK’s government and its supporters are facing increasingly shrill demands to explain what the hell is happening as the country smoulders, soon to burst into flames, thanks to Brexit. But it’s okay because Mr Johnson and his cabal are straight shooters.
“We never expected Brexit to work once we did it,” a 10 Downing Street source told LCD Views. “What idiot thought we had any plan at all? Don’t you recall David Davis’s empty headed grin as he sat down to talks with Barnier? Nothing in David’s hands and nothing in his mind but a fantasy world our political system allows him to propagate. If you thought Brexit was going to work you need to think long and hard about your news sources. Don’t come blaming us because you believed elected representatives. More fool you.”
The strong statement will settle minds at least by making obvious what is bleedingly obvioius.
“Brexit is a wrecker’s agenda. It’s smash the UK apart and take its assets. You don’t think all that quiet US cash was in it to strengthen workers rights and protect the NHS? It’s your fault for having a great asset store in the UK in the home ownership of over 50’s. Anyone care to pay for social care? Or that hip operation? Let’s release your liquidity. This is Brexit. Together with arms sales and money laundering. In that sense it works fantastically. Suckers.”
What to do now that the project’s pushers are finally honest about the mounting crisis is not yet clear, as no major bloc of opposition MPs seem capable of mentioning Brexit and identifying it as the accelerant in the UK bin fire.
“I’m sure you will see a leader of the opposition finally confront Brexit at some stage,” the source shrugged. “Not Jobs First Brexit Corbyn, not (sadly) I dare not speak its name Starmer. Maybe someone like Lammy in a few years? Although clearly Labour will have to wait for the Tories to dethrone their idiots and turn on the project before they pivot.”
UK politics. You either hate it or you aren’t paying attention at the moment. Now run along and enjoy your tangible benefits.