THIS TOO SHALL PASS : The European Union, the United Nations, The League of American Nations, The Austro-Indo-Pacific Alliance and The Danish Shakespeare Society have issued a joint statement today calling for calm in an increasingly out of control United Kingdom.
The unprecedented joint intervention is in response to rumours that Boris Johnson is still the Prime Minister, in spite of 150,000+ avoidable deaths during the pandemic, a lot of them because he tried to “Save Christmas”. News that he is going to attempt to save Christmas again have seen people panic shop in a scale not seen since the toilet paper roll catastrophe of distant early 2020.
“I know it seems like he will never leave, in spite of the egregious and worsening harm he causes,” a representative of the coalition told LCD Views. “He is currently a giant kidney stone in your national urethra. But the stone will pass you just have to be patient.”
The reassurance that there will be a lovely day tomorrow without Boris Johnson as Prime Minister has done little to ease minds though.
“It could be written by the old blowhard himself,” one social media user commented. “It’s always a lovely day tomorrow while today is always worse than yesterday under Johnson. Exactly which tomorrow is supposed to be the lovely one?”
For his part though Prime Minister Boris Johnson has taken measures to alleviate the rising sense of anxiety and dread in the country.
“Hiding in the fridge is a start, I’ll give you that,” the poster agreed. “Maybe the fridge could be towed to Mustique and he could do us all a favour and stay there permanently? At someone else’s expense of course.”
That is one possible solution. Because the longer the Trumpian clown show governs the United Kingdom the higher the bill for all of us to pay.
“Except for the disaster capitalists. This is their payday.”