GLOBAL BRITISH VALUES : The Home Office is rumoured to be “on the warpath” and “furious” at the discovery social media companies have not yet provided illegal refugee emojis.
The reluctance of the major social media outfits to provide the desired anti-woke hieroglyphics is thought to be a “repression of freedom of speech” for the Home Secretary and anyone too scared to not follow her orders.
“How is Priti Patel supposed to compete for attention with the simplistic tweets of Brexit superstar Liz Truss without the full range of pictograms appropriate to her work? She loves her work. She’s very passionate about it. This is an unacceptable situation which needs immediate redress or some tech nerd is getting a wedgie and then deported,” a fabricated, leaked internal memo is said to demand.
“Yes there are Union Flag emojis but the supply of those is currently limited as they are produced confidentially on a just in time basis at an EU27 firm.”
Plans to move production to a domestic facility have faltered after the only production site suitable in England was bulldozed to make way for an inland border facility.
There are further rumours that the Home Secretary is pressuring the Exchequer for an increase in budget in order to develop the range of emojis in-house.
“We will find out who to bully and bribe to get the emojis online swiftly. Donald Trump has said they already exist on his platform but no one can find out where that is.”
But there is said to be help coming from the very top of the UK’s government.
“The Prime Minister has dozens of empty wine crates left over from the weekend’s revenge wedding. He has said he will personally make the emojis out of them just as soon as he can get the right coloured paints.”
The need to increase the obvious racism of U.K. Government domestic communications has been made clear in recent days by the dramatic drop in the polling of the Prime Minister.
“Our base need to know we are there for their needs and no one else’s.”