DATES NOT DATA SILLY : Downing Street has moved to reassure Global Britons that the long anticipated reopening of England will occur on schedule, in the face of concerns that rising variant caseloads make 21st June untenable.
“The Prime Minister declared at the start of this year when he unveiled his roadmap out of his avoidable pandemic that June 21st was immovable,” a 10 Downing Street spokesman reminded the nation. “He meant it just as forcefully as a wedding vow. It is immovable as the date for complete ending of lockdown restrictions. The actual date itself, 21st June, is clearly completely tactile and can occur wherever and whenever we choose thanks to the arbitrary nature of human interpretations of time itself.”
When June 21st will occur is still the focus of debate as there are a number of rebellious Tory MPs who just do not care who lives or dies. Zero concern. Just there as taxpayer funded servants of international tax evaders. Your sacrifice is appreciated.
”Sometime in July would clearly be preferable for June 21st 2021, although August and September are also under consideration. It all depends on the complex interaction of pisspoor governance and the NHS making up for our shortcomings with an accelerating vaccination programme.”
People who have already booked holidays beginning on June 21st are reassured they will still occur.
“If you did trust our roadmap you’re impressively optimistic!” the spokesman chortled. “You can still take that holiday booked for June 21st. I would guess the day after September 30th as June 21st occurring then interferes neither with September or plans for an October lockdown. Just be aware if you have days booked following June 21st in June you’ll need to rebook them to occur on June 21st also.”