THE SCALES OF JUSTICE ARE TILTING : Great news today for the five supporters of the Home Secretary with the announcement that she’s to get her own statue.
The statue will be prominent and highly visible in direct sunlight so no one can mistake it. Clearly as Britain negotiates its way into a new and glorious future on the sunlit uplands of Brexit some updating of the capital’s landmarks is required.
“We’re knocking that boring, outdated statue off its pillar on top of the Old Bailey,” a source inside the Home Office told LCD Views. “Lady Justice has long outlived her usefulness. She hasn’t been required since the result of the criminally corrupted EU referendum was announced back in June 2016. Great thing both main English parties supported the validation of it. Just think where we would be today if someone with massive reach at the time had gone against it?”
The old, yawn inducing statue will be melted down and sold for scrap so that what is happening in practice to law and order in the UK gets a proper and dignified event to celebrate. Bunting will be hung and a Spitfire will flyover the yard where it is melted.
“Immediately after Justice is brought down a new and very shiny statue of Priti Patel will be erected to replace it. You will of course be required to doff your cap whenever you see it, under legislation to be rushed through parliament. Failure to bow your head in obeisance will risk life imprisonment.”
There’s fuhrer good news for anyone worried about the accuracy of Justice’s replacement.
“The statue of Priti Patel will be sold fool’s gold plated, but the neck will be all brass.”
Brexit Britain – break the ministerial code, get rewarded with high office and make a success of it!