BRITISH HOT AIR POWERED : News today of British wind filling the sails of Global Britain after a the latest diktat from 10 Downing Street seeks to harness an unstoppable supply of hot air. Thanks to Brexit.
“We have to fly the tricolour,” a Downing Street source tells LCD Views. “Otherwise how will everyone know where we are? The colours of the Russian and American flags must be seen in the skies over Blighty continually or the investments made to bring about Brexit may have been for nothing.”
Lucky for the blue sky dreamers at the heart of British government those colours are also the colours of the Union Jack, or someone may think something has gone awry.
“If it has we will not investigate. There is no need to panic our generous overseas benefactors.”
The diktat itself concerns hot air balloons.
“From midday tomorrow all hot air balloons in the skies over our green and pleasant land must be red, white and blue!” the source confirms. “This will ensure as British eyes raise upward to British skies they see their patriotism flying high any time of the day or night.”
Best of all the patriotism will be 100% hot air.
“This will cement our credentials as a greenhouse superpower ahead of the Climate Change Conference later this year,” the source adds. “And no one will be in any doubt that it’s the British Prime Minister himself supplying the hot air as every balloon will launch from the Rose Garden of 10 Downing Street.”
Fly high patriots! Getting high is about the only thing that will make Brexitannia bearable.