POLITICALLY DEAD AND BLOATED : OUTGOING PRESIDENT DONALD TRUMP HAS TRIED every trick in the US rule book to overturn the election results which saw Joe Biden defeat him. And defeat him heavily.
“He’s also tried every trick that isn’t in the rule book,” our US correspondent reports, “some would say that all the accusations of fraud and cheating Trump and his cabal have been throwing around are a perfect example of transposition. Although history will tell us what’s what on that score.”
And history is where the exasperated orange scat gibbon has turned next in his increasingly ludicrous attempts to cling onto power.
“He was reading a Twitter thread about legal options for overturning CV-19 laws you don’t like in England,” our correspondent informs, “and he discovered that business people in England have been using the Magna Carta. Invoking it to defend what they decide are their rights. And the common good be damned. He was onto it like it was a cheeseburger holding an NDA.”
Quite which lawyer will attempt to argue in an American court that an 800 year old treaty between an English king and his barons is applicable to US constitutional law (covering elections) isn’t yet clear. As it seems the lawyers are now getting out of Trump town before they need lawyers themselves.
“Rudi will probably have a go,” our correspondent opines, “he’s pretty much hollowed out now inside, so what’s another scrape of the old inner barrel? See what’s under its bottom. That’s if he can wash the hair dye out of his eyes in time to try.”
And if not Rudi?
“Ivanka.”