Bring me sunshine: What do you get if you cross Donald Trump with Toilet Duck? The mangled syntax and incomprehensible gibbering of the President gives you a clue. It’s Donald Duck, of course, tweeting from the Trump Toilet.
Is this the man who swallowed a bottle of Harpic and went clean round the bend? He may be quackers, but at least he is spotless under the rim.
The man whose stream of consciousness witterings and twitterings now informs medical science, has his answer ready. Taken out of context? That’s Lamestream! Misspoke? That’s Fake News! No, Trump has all the best words. All the bigly words. All the bestest and bigliest words. All the right words, in a manner of speaking, but not necessarily in the right order.
“Nobody understands the mind of Trump!” exclaimed the POTUS during the press briefing he swore not to give. “I’m a genius, right? The very best genius. I have the biggest mind in the world, nobody has a biglier mind than what Trump does. I does not make mistakes, I say all the right words. All the right words, as my very good English friend Ernie Morecambe used to say. Not necessarily in the order right, that’s what the Fake News Media don’t get!”
This explains everything. It’s as clear as a lung that has been scrubbed with an injection of Windolene.
This development has been taken with a large pinch of salt by the Lamestream Media, and with a larger pinch of Shake ‘n’ Vac by the POTUS.
In future, all the President’s pronouncements must be filtered through the prism of Write What I Meant In Retrospect, Not What I Said. This is a black art at the best of times, which must now be thoroughly bleached. All to make the brutally fake tanned Trump look whiter than white.
Bigly brain, tiny hands, and short fat hairy legs.