KEEP SCRUBBIN’ : NEWLY CREATED LIFE PEER NICKY MORGAN is said to be permanently at the bathroom sink this week attempting to wash the taste of her career out.
The problem appears to stem from doing whatever it took to stay on the green benches. And now to get up to the red ones in the House of Lords. No amount of hypocrisy or contradiction of her own stated principles has been too low to go, and now she’s been rewarded.
“We all remember the heart warming scenes of her madly guffawing alongside Boris Johnson in the last democratically elected parliament of the (former) United Kingdom,” a Downing Street source commented, “as the country slid into the sewer of lies and confusion and Nicky clapped along with the best of them. That’s the extra mile right there. It’s got to be rewarded. You see what happened to all those idiots like Soubry and Allen. Where are they now?”
How long Mrs Morgan will stay in her cabinet post, now that she can just slum about the Lords, is not yet certain.
“Well it no longer seems likely that there’s a moral boundary Mr Johnson can cross that will see her leave with the best of them,” the source shrugged, “and complex maths, at least as far as the NHS is concerned, doesn’t appear to be a problem either. So we will just have to wait and see. There could be no depth he could plumb that will be too low.”
LCD Views would like to congratulate Morgan on navigating a tricky path between her conscience and ambition. We trust that in time the bad taste will fade.