ARRESTABLE DEDONALDMENT : A new study by boffins with smart machines has found that reality TV star, and part time US president, Donald Trump speaks at more than double his mental age.
“You would have thunk he had a chance at placing better than Dubya, but he’s even come under that famously low bar,” our Trumpistan correspondent reports back, “but it’s still a very good effort for Trump, who clearly stopped both emotional and intellectual development somewhere around potty training, or perhaps even earlier.”
The study itself was focused on the words used without the help of a TelePrompTer or speech writer. Just the raw person showing through.
”Trump will probably be proud of himself,” our correspondent muses, “as he won’t be able to sit still long enough to read the analysis, so one of his handlers will make something up and write it out in big letters with a marker pen. Donald can then put that on Twitter as a boast. Bigly with words. Just the bestest, most specialist with silly bills. Something like that.”
But while the lack of big words in the most powerful toddler on Earth’s vocabulary wouldn’t necessarily mean much, if emotionally he wasn’t so underdeveloped, it does tally with the claims he’s a giant child having an endless tantrum.
Quite how Mr Trump will express his feelings over the findings isn’t clear, but it will presumably involve scat.
The verbal study is to be followed up by one comparing body language while giving public speeches to crowds, with the body language of the 20th century’s fascist leaders. On that Trump is expected to score a Mussolini.