DOG WHISTLING DONALD : The leaders of Scotland and Germany have signed a joint letter today telling Donald Trump not to go back where he came from.
The diplomatic move was a result of Donald Trump doing his utmost, again, to drive white bedsheet sales upwards in his idea of the ideal America.
”The first minister and the chancellor both felt a chill run up their spines when they heard of Drumpf’s latest attempt to turn the USA into a replica 1930’s theme park,” a Holyrood insider told LCD Views, “then they felt it run down again when they realised what the result would be if he followed his own advice.”
But critics have been quick to point out that the two European leaders have perhaps been too hasty.
”Given that Trump, or Drumpf, has both Scottish and German ancestry he would have to divide himself in two to follow his own nasty advice,” one social commentator wrote, “so that would result in either a bloody mess no one will want to put back together, except for bedsheet sellers, or two smaller mini-me style Trump’s. They’d find it harder given the atmosphere of intolerance that Trump has fostered all over.”
But critics of the critics have turned to a noted cell biologist to counter the critics.
”It’s a terrible idea,” a noted cell biologist said, “Trump is a single cell organism. Like a virus or a bacteria. The last thing the world needs is him dividing in two. He’d go on and multiply right out of the Petri dish and we’d find him all over.”