TRICKLE UP ECONOMICS : JOHNSON AND HUNT are on the same page when it comes to tackling the scourge of modern Britain which is social mobility. How to keep the bloody serfs in their place?
To answer this pernicious puzzle the pair have reached out to the overwhelming majority of the population that will choose one of them to be the next prime minister, with the promise of tax giveaways.
But they have hit by an an unwelcome, and unhelpful, barrage of criticism by an unelected, meddling technocrat at the unaccountable UN.
“The proposed tax cuts for the rich will trickle back down anyway,” a Torycentric economist explained, “the extra income will be spent on additional champagne towers which, after consumption, will trickle back down on the poorest, via the country’s urinals. You can thus describe the proposals as progressive. Everyone will feel them over time.”
Quite how the tax cuts will aide either possible Tory PM in also meeting their pledge to spend more on the NHS and education hasn’t been answered, yet.
“You don’t need to answer that. It’s obvious. People will spend more on the NHS and education as we continue the steady encouragement of privatisation into both. The taxpayer will spend more directly, thus tax spending on them will increase. We will just sensibly remove the middle man, ourselves, to achieve it. See? It couldn’t be easier. I don’t know why no one has thought of it before.”
And increasing equality among the wealthiest in society will be necessary if the country is to be readied for its post Brexit future.
“Those private security firms aren’t going to pay for themselves,” the economist added, “once we privatise the food bank sector and begin charging for food parcels. Wealthy shareholders will need to employ armed guards to transport food about, much in the way we currently do with money. In fact, if the promise of Brexit is fully realised, food will be money, that or your poor man’s flesh.”
If you’re part of the 0.3% of the population choosing the next prime minister, it’s all just grift for the mill. And underscoring the Conservative Party’s reputation of fiscal responsibility.