Tory leadershit race – Boris de Piffle Johnson promises to govern for all members of the Brexit Party

BROAD PUTSCH : “As prime minister, I will govern for all members of the Brexit Party” Tory leadershit hopeful, Boris Johnson, will tell a hall packed with salty, bloody gammon later this afternoon, as he continues his push to become the United Kingdom’s last prime minister.

And the push is looking firmer after the only man capable of appearing occasionally responsible, Rory Stewart, was knocked out of the race.

Why Rory was so disfavoured isn’t entirely clear, as he was still committed to national suicide, via Brexit, and had a habit of attempting to deceive to further his agenda.

Examples being just making up statistics, and getting caught out, and pretending to film himself for social media, while just extending his arm to the person actually filming.

Carefree with facts and deceptive are hallmarks of a modern Conservative prime minister. But knocked out little Rory was, perhaps with some gerrymandering from Boris and chums…walk on Rory, thanks for coming.

Now Boris only has to face Hunt or Gove. The old gang back together again to stab each other in the back one more time.

That’s the expectation anyway, with Sajid Javid being such a vacancy, except for expected sociopathy, that no one thinks he is likely to challenge Boris for the favours of the Brexit Party. Especially so, given the BXP (actually a company) can reasonably be believed to be heaving with racists in its membershit (it only has one member, Nigel Farage).

Boris de Piffle Johnson (American for willy) now has to push himself over the finish line, by appealing to the worst instincts of his party, like Sisyphus on the way to the paternity clinic carrying an unbearable load of samples, after going on a fathering spree.

Boris will govern for someone if he’s successful in getting into Number 10 Downing Street. You can bet your bottom dollar it won’t be you or me, but you better not do that because you’ll need it for food on the black market.

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