ONCE UPON A TIME : American President Donald Trump used a press conference in Ireland today to announce he is to start travelling with giant lego bricks to prove he can build a wall anywhere.
Initially the press conference got off to a shaky start when Trump, surprisingly appearing to be ill informed and just talking out of his ass, gave the impression he believed Ireland to be a state in America.
”Perhaps you could tell us about walls?” his host gently steered Trump towards a specialist subject, away from simple geography, and things improved.
”I love walls,” the President immediately enthused, “did you know that some even hold up roofs? Not many people know that. Others can be used to stop undesirables coming to steal your horses. I hear you want a wall here in Ireland. I’ve some lego bricks with me, let me show you how to build it. I can build a wall anywhere. I really know how to create distance between me and whoever I’m visiting.”
There was a slight delay at that point as aides to the president rushed to retrieve his giant lego blocks from one of the cars in his entourage. But soon enough the big kid was building, or at least attempting to.
”Perhaps if you place the side with the cavities on top of the sides with the round bumps?” his host assisted again, “you’ll see they fit together.”
Trump didn’t seem to like that too much.
”I’m the builder here,” he retorted and managed, with some effort, to fit two bricks together.
He was off to the races then.
”Do you want to see how high I can make it?” he asked.
”Yes please. Can you build it over your head?” his host replied.
”I can too,” Trump replied and set about walling himself up right there in the interview.
And for a moment, as the lego brick wall rose and he vanished from sight, the world momentarily seemed a little bit saner, as if he wasn’t there at all.