DUMBING DOWN : SHOCK new statistics from the Brains Faculty, University of Life, released this afternoon reveal the average IQ score in the U.K. has suffered its biggest drop in a single day since Donald Trump visited last year.
“After he left last year the average score, which is usually 100 but was down to the low 50’s during the visit, bounced right back up again,” Professor Zombie explains, “We’re just praying the sudden drop to the 40’s is explained by Donald Trump once again setting foot in the UK.”
But critics have been quick to point out a flaw in the methodology behind the IQ crunching, as the average IQ in the USA has not significantly increased with the departure of POTUS.
“That’s because of their gun laws, day in and day out mass shootings and no actual ability to do anything serious to stop it, and the drive to introduce deeply regressive laws pertaining to women’s rights, but none whatsoever targeted at all the medievalist, religious freak men that salivate over making it harder for anyone to get an abortion, except their mistress. So even taking the man child out of the equation can’t significantly inflate the figures.”
But what are the likely long term affects of the UK becoming dramatically thicker, on average, for even a few days?
“There should certainly be a noticeable spike in support for Brexit,” Professor Zombie shrugs, “mind you I’m doubtful of our own figures myself and wondering if I’m too dumb to do the calculations anymore.”
Why the self doubt?
“I live in a country that believed it was smart to invite Donald Trump over for a state visit to begin with,” he adds, “oh, and is still committed to delivering on the will of the people from three years ago even though the advisory poll has been shown to be full of criminality and broken promises and is almost guaranteed to mean the end of the NHS. None of that seems very clever to me. I think we’ll just keep the score down in the 40’s for a while. At least until the UK wises up again.”