POLL AXED : Brexiters, Lexiters, Corbynites and Moggdolytes are taking comfort in each other’s arms at the news SNP leader Nicola Sturgeon, and future Libdem leader Jo Swinson, are all set to replace May/Foster as joint leaders in Downing Street.
”It’s a new dawn,” a distraught looking Moggodolyte sniffled, thumbing through a memorial edition of Jacob Rees-mogg’s fantasy novel about crushing the poor, “and it’s a terrifying one. They might want to make us pay tax to fund public services sufficiently again and restore civil society. The end of neoliberal Darwinianism? It’s terrifying.”
Lexiters were also emotional.
”I dedicated decades attempting to turn England into a time capsule of the 1970’s crossed with an endless communist revolution. I was going to personally make the trains run on time. What’s left to live for? These two capitalist stooge’s will keep us shackled to EU rules on human and worker’s rights, gender and racial equality, new reforms to curb the tax dodgers, environmental focus in an attempt to keep the environment habitable? It’s horrifying. Where’s the room for a worker’s utopia with re-education camps for thought criminals in all that?”
Not to be missed out the Corbynite’s were just furious.
”I didn’t spend the last three years telling anyone who queried Corbyn’s stance on Brexit on social media to fuck off and vote Tory for nothing. Now they gone and voted Libdem and Green and Plaid and SNP! Traitors! They’re undermining the leader! And that’s his job!”
The Brexiters however seemed strangely pleased.
”Endless struggle. We now have endless struggle. And most importantly, Nigel’s EU pension is only getting fatter, well, assuming it isn’t all docked away for expenses fiddling by the time he finally retires.”
None of this was destined of course, until the Labour and Conservatives reacted to the fraudulent EU referendum in 2016 by deciding the centre, and left to right of it, in British politics had ceased to exist.
Policy made in denial, it seems, eventually led to exile. At least that’s apparently how Jeremy Corbyn plans to govern the Labour Party now that most of the PLP have finally split. As to the Tories? Who cares. So long and good riddance.
The polls have it. The polls have it.