A WHOLE LOT OF BOLLOCKS : News just received says that Donald Tusk, President of the EU council, is to chair the Tory Party leadership debate.
“It’s so he can call out the bollocks,” Kay Burley, Sky News presenter, who was originally booked for the job, told LCD Views, “there will be a load of bollocks spoken, that much we know well in advance. I’d fancy by the time the debate is over bollocks will be the English world Donald has said the most, numerically speaking.”
The decision of Ms Burley to step aside for Tusk was an easy one for her to make.
”We need an expert on the EU. Most of the debate will be fantastical projections of what the new Tory leader, and presumably PM, will do about Brexit. It makes sense to have the EU council president moderate. This is so he can call bollocks to all the Tory claims on EU and Brexit. Did I already mention that? There’s going to be an awful lot of bollocks spoken, but not by Mr Tusk.”
But what if the debate strays onto purely national issues? Won’t Mr Tusk be out of his depth?
”Not at all,” Ms Burley was reassuring, “have you looked at the U.K. from across the channel? From any EU27 country? Actually anywhere else on Earth?”
What would be gained by that? That’s not very patriotic!
”What’s that got to do with it? The U.K. is a complete dumpster fire and everyone can see it. So any claim made on the Conservative record in government will be easy to adjudicate.”
How so?
”If the claim is a positive one Mr Tusk will easily be able to inform the viewing public of its veracity with a single word.”
Let me guess…
”Bollocks.”