SMALL PRINT : The Brexit Party is back in the news today with the launch of an all new insurance venture that combines auto-accident insurance with physical exercise.
”We’re based offshore, but not for tax purposes,” a company spokesman told LCD Views’ moving motions correspondent, “just because we like creating employment for letter boxes on small island territories.”
That’s good to know. Now tell us the inspiration for the new business venture?
”Well, as you may or may not be aware, Brexit and insurance are closely intertwined. If people didn’t crash their cars I don’t know how we would have bankrolled the Leave campaigns in 2016. So it’s a natural fit.”
Sure. Was Nigel Farage’s involvement in an auto-accident the other day also an inspiration?
”Now, now, let me speak. He could see it was about to kick off so he got out of there. Anyone would have done the same in that situation. Especially spotting a child in the other car. What if the kid had been badly hurt? You need to put your running shoes on fast!”
You could claim it was reputational self-defence.
”Quite so. What if some pesky photographer had popped out from behind a bush?”
So tell us about the name of the new company?
”Brexit is all about running and so are we. Running from promises after running for office. Running from those tyrannical bookkeepers at the EU and their obsession with expense accounting. Running from the sky into the ground in light aircraft. Running the U.K. out of the EU. Hit it and run! Like a much younger waitress before your wife catches on! Ha!”
Its bound to be a great success.
”Yes. With Brexit Party insurance you can send us your cash and in the event of an accident you’ll have to run fast to find us! Sign up today. And be reassured, we’ve heard of GDPR. There’s not a day I don’t reminisce about what it must have been like to control the Stasi.”
Thank you for your time. Here’s my credit card details.
”Great stuff! You send us your cash and our cheque is always in the post.”