Mass confusion as parties without endless racism scandals make big gains in local elections

GET AUNTEE GIN NOW : “No one knows what it means! Aargh!,” a BBC celebra-tory “journalist” told LCD Views this morning.

”Can you help explain it to me?” They pleaded, huffing and puffing down the line, “how can I spin these results as pro-Brexit if I don’t what it means?”

The source of the confusion seemed to be that smaller parties have made massive gains in the local elections held on May 23rd in large swathes of the U.K.

”If these results were just in London,” the journalist gasped, “we could dismiss them as zzzzz what you’d expect from Remoaniac heaven. But a lot of them are in kippervilles! Aargh!”

Although, as a worthy aside, Boris Johnson tweeted, and then deleted, that he’d voted in the locals. He deleted it after it was pointed out his area didn’t have locals. Ever the liar. It’s in his blood, he lives and breathes…

”Clearly the massive swing to Liberal Democrats and Greens is because people are frustrated at the government and Labour’s failure to slam through a wrecking ball Brexit. So they’ve taken it out on the big parties by voting for aggressively pro-EU ones. Voters are so passive aggressive!”

We don’t think that’s what the results mean.

”But what can it be?”

If you can’t work out why smaller parties not endlessly engulfed in racism scandals, and anti-Brexit (btw Brexit is a giant racism scandal), have seen such a swing in the locals, then there’s no hope for you.

”Fuck it. We ignored last year’s swing to Libdems and Greens but this one is undeniable. We’re going to have to spin so fast we’re liable to cause Broadcasting House to break its moorings and levitate.”

Good luck with that.

LCD Views would like to commend the voters of the U.K. for giving the Brexit parties a severe bloody nose, and on the same day a fascist got a facial, it gives you hope that no matter how badly the country may currently be led by the major parties and their adherence to the corrupt frauderendum, change is coming, whether the Brexiters leading Tories and Labour like it or not.

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