BREAKING : We have common ground! Global Britons are now united and can go forward arm in arm once more.
The common ground is not around what particular form of economic suicide via Brexit to go for, while throwing precious rights and protections guaranteed by international treaties into a shredder, but rather around a sense of outrage and bafflement when looking at Westminster.
“Seriously, how the f c u k did we get so many thick people elected to the lower chamber at one time?” the overwhelming majority of Global Britons asked.
It’s a good question. An important one that needs an answer and needs that answer acted on.
“The fixed term parliament act?”
“The MPs expenses scandal that led to a clear out of experienced, but grubby, hands in 2010?”
“The snap GE called in 2017 that didn’t allow sufficient time to vet new candidates and so any old packet of mince got a rosette stuck on it?”
“Alien overlords, bored of intergalactic space travel and taking selfies with supernovas decided to just hang out and mess about with the governance of a small group of islands off the north west coast of continental Europe?”
Shouldn’t they have better things to do!
Exactly how we got to this point will be answered, over the long term, but probably not by the collection of planks currently billing the public purse in the crumbling palace by the river.
“It’s becoming just a little bit embarrassing,” a Global Briton commented, “we make a really thick decision to do something really dumb on the world stage and then entrust a lot of really thick people to do it. I can’t show my face in public anymore. It’s cringe inducing.”
At least it’s not all lost. There is also a growing catalogue of very smart MPs starting to push back and take control. But in order to do it they’re having to fight a whole world of stupid.
LCD Views would like to encourage the sharp ones to keep going. We never wanted to live in the world’s first official Idiocracy and we’d appreciate bringing it to a stop.