The brains behind Theresa May’s misselling strategy to get the great British public to swallow, without sugar, the toxic discharge of her Brexit WA and PD have hit today upon a sure fire way to con everyone into buying it.
“Who better to accompany Ms May on her around the U.K. sales trip than a infamous British automotive dealer of questionable quality second hand cars?” Mr Con Merchant, guiding strategist at Downing Street, told us, “it was actually Gove’s idea. Every bit of deceptive genius always is.”
How Ms May, famous for being strongest when working independently, will feel about being a double act is not yet clear.
”We will have Arthur Daley convince her himself and he’ll probably sell her one of Prescott’s old Jags while he’s at it,” Mr Merchant said, “and if things get sticky Terry can pop round and have a word in her ear, to the wise, like.”
Mr Daley himself has been unavailable for comment since the announcement, but is currently believed to be hiding in the gents of a boozer out of fear that Ms May is a disgruntled customer.
”We will get word to him that ‘er indoors has a Brexit bus going begging to be sold with a massive profit if it’s pulled off. That there are 17.4M suckers lined up to pay well over the odds for something that was clearly never going to work, and which anyone could find out for themselves if they only had access to Google. The world will be his oyster. He’ll be up for it.”
Brexit, a nice little earner, if you’re a currency trader, like say, half the government.