Trust is the most vital force in politics. So when our beloved leader grovels for your trust in a snivelling excuse for a begging letter, do not think about it. Trust and be damned.
Brexit is clearly costing the UK huge sums of money. £1,000 per person to be precise. Theresa May’s ghastly deal is a bad deal not only because it costs a great deal, but the gains are so few and pitiful. In the end we gain little but the end of free movement, and so look forward to years of constipation. And we also gain a 50p coin.
May now has a permanent expression on her face like the woman who lost a pound and found a penny. Which is an apt metaphor for what she has actually done to the economy.
So let us look forward to shortages! Blockages at our ports! Inflation as prices rise to compensate! Rejoice as the Brexit 50p coin is now worth 20 pre-Brexit p!
Funny how Brexit frees trade but unfrees people. Trust the PM, she knows how to free up Britain’s service economy by stopping the people it depends upon from moving around.
Celebrate, residents of Northern Ireland. Trust the PM to place your country in a kind of neither-in-nor-out limbo. She knows that a return of the Troubles and creating a smuggler’s paradise is the best for Britain.
Residents of Gibraltar, open the sangria to commemorate the day you were sacrificed for the sake of the PM’s job. You will not be forgotten unless it is politically convenient to do so.
Little Englanders, be glad that the PM has given you the opportunity to create new dishes from vermin. Put the rat into steak and kidney pie, and the toad into toad in the hole.
Alternatively we could tell her to stop this madness and give us our country back.