News today on the menu the United Kingdom’s governing party is working its way through and it’s quite a feast.
”We’re eating ourselves alive clearly,” David Davis, former cabinet sous chef agreed, “Once we’ve hacked each other to pieces, roasted our limbs over an open fire made of furniture in the cabinet office, basted all that with a slurry made out of leaves from the magic money tree mixed with the liquified aspirations of millions, eaten the lot while belching loudly and singing ‘Rule Britannia’, then whoever is left standing is going on to the next course.”
And the next course is the Labour Party?
”Ha! Not while old Corbyn keeps saying ‘we’re leaving the EU’, no, he’s the one supplying the root vegetables for the feast, grown in his own allotment. We’re doing the meat. Fat of the land.”
Then who?
”All of you of course! Automotive sector, you’re a tasty dish. The rules say the crockery has to be smashed after the course is eaten. So too aerospace and pharmaceuticals. The NHS, and any business really that can’t exist as a rag and bone operation. Gobble. Gobble. Yum.”
But what about financial services? Are you chowing down on those too? Say in between a round of further cuts to welfare allowance and eligibility?”
”Ooo, don’t worry about financial services, most of them will just run off and stay in the category of diners. Which is good as we need them to supply the take-away bags.”
So who is going to clean up after you’ve finished gorging yourself on the country?
”Anyone who has shorted the pound of course! They’ll count their earnings as they wipe their lips and look for dessert. Those dishes are your rights. Those are finger licking good.”
Well, maybe once you’ve eaten yourselves alive you’ll be too stuffed to dine on the rest of us.
”Ha! We’re just wetting our appetites right now. We’re the entree. Sixty five million people and more, your wealth and your rights, they are the main course.”
Bon appetit.