Theresa May, ruler of the British Empire, has slammed French arrogance today after French immigration authorities proved just how unable to recognise British value the French are, once again.
”It’s not a surprise to find our presumptuous friends across the ENGLISH Channel behaving like this,” Britain’s modern day Boudicca said (in a thoroughly statesmanlike manner), “they’ve always been jealous.”
She paused here to power stare meaningfully into the void, before continuing,
”We do not wish to get into a game of immigration tit for tat, but it would do well for all to remember what happened after we let the French ancestors of Nigel Farage into the United Kingdom.”
The timely reminder of who is better by tribal leader May was prompted by outrageous French THREATS to English tourists.
“But if the FRENCH FAIL to do the right thing by Britons, after forcing us into Brexit, we will be forced to reluctantly draw up the bridge to French nationals after Brexit. They will join a growing list of twenty seven countries who will find it very difficult to spend their money in our one great country, if they fail to give us what we ask, after forcing us into Brexit.”
It seems the particular threat that has roused the British lion to roar is the notice from French immigration officials regarding how difficult it will be for exceptional British people to gain French visas, after they’ve forced us into Brexit.
”We are well aware that the only peoples on the continent of Europe to possess a sense of humour are the British. This is evidenced by old white, rich British men who used to mock the establishment turning full gammon in their dotage, and all the way over to the subtle power chains I wear around my neck, just so onlookers can smirk.”
And what powerful chains they are, modelled after the anchor chains on the Titanic.
”To suggest Brits won’t be allowed French visas after Brexit, because of concerns Brits won’t go back home from France is to underestimate both the British love of queuing (for food in 2019) and life under universal credit (she’ll take all the credit).”