For many the news of Meghan Markle’s pregnancy will be a cause for celebration, but with the Brexit cliff edge and economic collapse looming, many more are echoing the LCD Views editorial office in enquiring:
JUST HOW MUCH IS ANOTHER MIGRANT BABY GOING TO COST US ??
An American citizen married to a ginger haired slob of mixed German, Greek, Danish and British ancestry, Meghan Markle has been resident in the United Kingdom for less than one year AT THE TAXPAYER’S EXPENSE.
Yet already she has announced she ‘s expecting and will no doubt be expecting the TREASURY TO COUGH UP FOR FUNDING THE NEW ARRIVAL as well as her and her UNEMPLOYED husband.
“Coming so soon after the £10 million wasted on policing the wedding of Princess Boris to a nightclub bouncer, and their subsequent tour of Grimsby in a diamond encrusted n open topped Chieftain tank , this is an absolute disgrace,” snarled Dave Spart, head of the Windsor branch of the Tooting Popular Front.
“Don’t they know what CONDOMS are for?” he enquired.
His displeasure was echoed by a ruddy faced man on the Clapham Omnibus wearing a hand stencilled “keep Briton white” t shirt and brandishing a can of industrial strength Stella.
“He may have served in the army but that doesn’t give him the right to a life of leisure with some foreign floozy he picked up overseas,” he belched, noisily.
“Since when did closing a car door by yourself qualify for entry into the The Highly Skilled Migrant Programme – She should bloody well go back she came from and take that GINGER MINGER of a husband with her,” he fumed.
But not everyone is convinced that the new arrival will be a massive drain on the public purse.
“Full page photo spreads in OK magazine…live video streaming of the birth..This could be a whole new source of revenue for us…I mean them, the err…royals,” opined a well spoken bald headed man in sun-glasses giving his name only as “Ed”.
“We, I mean they… could even hold a twitter poll to choose the name,” he added, conceding that they would have to make it clear in advance that “BOATY McBOATFACE” is not an option.
“Although then again, barring a Kind Hearts and Coronets” there’s not chance of it ever becoming Monarch, so why not,” he mused.