Liam Fox was in an upbeat mood today as he searched behind any curtain he saw with the announcement that the US has officially advised the U.K. government that it will refer to the U.K. as ‘the gimp’ in any and all free trade deal negotiations.
”We will also be called ‘the gimp’ in official documents after we strike a deal,” Liam said breathlessly, “this is the special relationship making itself plain as day.”
Dr Fox flicked back another curtain.
”Unlike my own very special friend! Where is that pesky little fellow. Hide and seek is no fun Adam if you can’t be found.”
This assertion drew giggling from a curtain a few feet away. And from the way it moved we’re certain someone was hiding behind it.
“We may even have to rename the United Kingdom as ‘the gimp’ on all correspondence with everyone ever,” Liam said, skipping to the moving curtain, “which will be fine by me. We may even get to dress up when we strike the easiest deal in history!”
But whether or not the new name will go down well with the people of the United Kingdom was unclear.
”The people have spoken,” Liam reminded us, “they don’t need to speak again now that we have Henry VIII powers. Thank you parliament, you great big rubber stamp you.”
And to make sure we all get the connotations of our new nickname the US is expected to use a meeting of the WTO later this month to spell it out.
”Threatening to block our new, non-EU membership of the Global Procurement Programme is just their opening negotiating stance,” Liam reassured, “the end stance is us on our knees in a rubber mask.”