The latest batch of No Deal notices released by HMG yesterday demonstrate that Brexit Britannia has all bases covered, especially when it comes to the all important symbols of our liberation from being a functioning member of the global community.
“The RAF is on standby to airlift in our new potatriotic British blue passports from France if the M20 becomes a lorry park,” Dominic Raab MP (for Meat) told a packed hall of patriots, “let me correct that, when the M20 becomes a lorry park.”
The reassurance will be welcome by a population busy contingency planning for the moments after the UK regains its independence, to just before the UK ceases to exist altogether.
“It’s worth it,” A Gammon told LCD Views, “after two and a bit years, billions sacrificed, the mental wellbeing of millions placed in jeopardy, the reputation of the United Kingdom trashed internationally for the callous and offhand way we are prepared to tear up legal agreements offering security and rights to millions over decades, and all to change the colour on a passport to a colour we could have changed to without Brexit.”
But with much less sovereignty.
“Yes. It’s all worth it. It’s still the only benefit identified, but once you hold that blue book in your hand and realise you’ll never leave home again with or without it, it’ll all be worth it.”
Quite where the RAF will land with the shipments of blue passports is not yet clear, as it’s unlikely they will be able to break the law and deliver them.
“They may have to airdrop them,” A Gammon mused, “presumably just south of the Irish border. Smugglers can take care of the rest after and get them into the UK.”
Never forget, as the day to day drama gathers distracting intensity with the running down of the clock, no one has yet been able to identify a tangible benefit of Brexit except for blue passports.