“Total humiliation is just our opening negotiating position,” Theresa May is to tell a jubilant U.K. this afternoon, after her barnstorming impact on the collected leaders of the EU27 in Salzburg yesterday.
“No prime minister of the modern United Kingdom, that roared into life like a creation of Doctor Frankenstein on the 23rd June 2016, is going to forced to face reality, no matter how mean those bullies in Brussels are. No matter how many air kisses Macron lays around me.”
The tough talk will be welcomed by a nation that waits anxious that reality may at some point force its way into U.K. government Brexit strategy.
”No deal is better than a no deal,” May will add, “why it was preferable for currency traders to have a transition period of madly fluctuating Sterling, and for all our major employers to have time to relocate across the channel in good order, I am not playing to the tune of anyone but about half a dozen billionaires who have taken short pound positions for late March next year.”
And to back up her tough talk she’s going to continue as is.
”Even now the best medical minds in the NHS, working alongside Harley Street, are attempting to revive Chequers. My personal monster, cobbled together from still born ideas and old cables, will rise to face Brussels again.”
She will then hold up a photo of Chequers, before finishing,
”No deal is better than no deal and I aim to make a success of it. A humiliation that will overshadow the imperial success of Chequers for generations to come.”
Total humiliation has been our negotiating position for over two years now and let’s make a success of it! Get behind May and push! Everyone! All together! Now!