President Donald Trump has underlined in bold his reputation, already in italics, for business acumen today with his tweet announcing he has listed the White House on famed app AirBnB.
”So, so, so many rooms. Just the GRATEST ROOMS,” 45 tweeted early this morning, “All FRSHELY PAINTED in red, white and blue paint. Great prices. To DIE FOR PRICES.”
The motivation for listing the White House is believed to be obvious.
”The President’s credit rating is plummeting faster than his poll rating after he didn’t miss the latest opportunity to trash a veteran,” seasoned White House watcher, Mr Pepper, told LCD Views.
“It’s believed even sanctioned Russian banks may soon decide he’s too big a risk to launder money through and just stick to shoving it all in the London property market.”
This has led to concerns amongst the Trump family about how to pay for what will soon be an avalanche of legal shit breaking across their door stoop.
”In the series of tweets advertising the rooms in the White House for short term rent via AirBnB, Trump explains most of them are empty rooms anyway.”
Just the most boring rooms to sit in. National security meetings. Environmental planning. Economic management.
”They give me the ZZZZ’s,” Trump joshed, “and I don’t mean the ZZ Tops! I fall asleep in these rooms all the time if I don’t get a DIET COKE fast enough. So if I can sleep in them, why can’t everyone?”
If the move is successful there are further plans to place a TRUMP Tower sign across the famous White House and just turn it into a proper hotel in the brand.
AirBnB haven’t commented yet on the listing, although they are understood to be under pressure already by whiny, little snowflakes over Trump’s extensive list of the types of people who will not be allowed to book a room.
”Everyone is making money off me being bored to death in the Oval Office. Why can’t I do it to? It’s the only reason I wanted to get elected! And you never know you’re luck. If you stay in one of MY SPECIAL ROOMS…I may just visit you in the night.”