President Nicola Sturgeon of Scotland was on the back foot today, forced to deny allegations that EU funding has been received by Holyrood, as work began on the Caledonian Canal.
The CC, as it’s been nicknamed, will stretch across the mainland of Britannia and is being built to make it easier for Irish Ferries headed for EU markets to cut England, or Brexitannia, out of shipping lines post March 2019.
”Who said anything about building a canal?” Ms Sturgeon hit back at reports she was funding the project with English money stolen by the EU, and given back to Scotland for the express purpose of building the CC.
Ms Sturgeon was speaking to reporters in the middle of a field that just happened to have the Anglo-Scottish border bisecting it.
”Even if we were to propose to build a canal to allow water from the North and Irish seas to mingle and cut Scotland physically off from the cockwombling shits down in Westminster, it certainly wouldn’t begin until after Indyref2,” she added, shovel clenched in hand.
Then shovel to the grass.
Then boot on top of shovel blade.
“Let me reiterate,” she said, pushing the shovel into the ground, “We’re not planning on building a canal to physically separate Scotland from the fucking Tories and Little Englanders and all those gullible Brexiter English nationalists who are going to drown in their own bile, mostly because they won’t have anything else to eat soon.”
The CC, official named ‘The Caledonian Canal’ in documents freely accessible on the EU Commissions website, is to stretch from just south of Berwick to just underneath Gretna.
The annexing of Berwick by the newly created Independent Scottish Republic of Scotland is not expected to cause tension with England though. We asked an expert why,
”I doubt anyone in England who doesn’t live in the northeast of England has the foggiest idea where the border is anyway,” said an expert.
But even though the Labour and Conservative Parties have seemingly missed this major development, resulting from their leadership’s support of Brexit, and the resulting attempts to out racist one another to give the voters a policy choice different to Brexit, someone has been paying attention.
”Let me correct you,” our expert added, “it’s someones. Millions of pro-EU English residents have been crowdfunding the CC well before the EU got involved.”
Work on the CC is expected to be completed by early March 2019 and refugees fleeing the hard right, fascist republic of the tax haven, Little England Brexitannia, will be welcome to cross it and settle in the Scottish Republic, bringing their skills, children, assets and internationalist mindset with them.