Widespread relief today at the confirmation that President Donald Trump has denied revoking President Vladimir Putin’s Whitehouse security clearance.
”FAKE KNEWS!!!,!!!” 45 wrote on Twitter, during his morning toilet meeting with himself, “The lieing MSM wants you to beleive there is love lost between myself and my GOOD FIEND Mister PUT-IN. It is a lye. There is no love lost. NON.”
It was a timely rebuttal that settled nerves in the world’s diplomatic circles after nocturnal reports that Mr Trump had indeed revoked Mr Putin’s security clearance.
”Mister President Putin is still welcome to enter the Whitehouse and walk straight into the Oval Office whenever he pleases,” Sarah Huckabee confirmed, while not taking questions from the press,
“and if he can’t personally attend a meeting with Donald then any of the high level spies, informants or honey trap agents in his employ are welcome in his place,
”And if they are unable to personally promote Mr Putin’s agenda with our President than the unsecured mobile phones he uses can still be activated as listening devices. No one has anything to fear.”
Welcome clarification.
”Every former high ranking, and many serving top level US intelligence agents and administrative officials are banned on security grounds, but, and this is very important, Mr Putin is not, and never will be, on that list. You can not just bad mouth Donald’s paymaster and expect to waltz around the halls of power any longer.”
Not if 45 has anything to say about it.
”And this is nothing to do with any pee tapes. We know Trump’s base will just lap those up anyway. It’s to do with rewarding loyalty to your friends.”
And not your country?
”God Save The Security Clearance.”