British prime minister Theresa May travelled to the Austrian capital Vienna Friday in an effort to gain the support of far right Austrian chancellor Sebastian Kurz for a revised version of her Chequers Brexit plan, following the summary rejection of the original version by the EU’s chief negotiator Michel Barnier.
A spokesmann for 10 Downing Strasse confirmed that under the new revised plan, instead of leaving the EU, as was previously proposed under Brexit, Britain, or specifically England, will instead head a new coalition of far right European States to be called “Größeres Europa”.
The new entity will be governed not by the democratically elected European parliament in Brussels, but by a small clique of like minded übermensch, und wömensch in some really nicely tailored uniforms from a small chalet in the Austrian alps, he explained.
“Zis iz ze plan. Ze volk have spolken,” he punned, clicking his heels together, and purposefully holding down his right arm with his left.
With the two leaders locked in delicate talks over which one of them will get to invade Poland and establish “work camps” for “auslander” and untermensch from outside the new union, a spokeswoman for Kurz, Anna Scluss confirmed that the Austrian leader was fully in support of the plan.
“Wir vorseehen ein glorious future. Tomorrow belongen to UNS!” she shouted.
Emerging from her meeting resplendent in a tasteful grey matching jacket and skirt, trimmed with highly fashionable deaths heads and lightning flashes, together with matching patent leather jackboots. May was equally upbeat.
“Ein Raab, ein Volk, Ein Brexit Mainz Brexit,” she roared, goose stepping round Vienna’s main square, Stephansplatz whilst explaining to confused observers that “ze final solution” for the Irish border problem is to subsume the formerly independent Irish republic into her new “Größeres Europa”, fascist state.
“Kein borders, kein problem – es ist zat simplische,” she spat, lapsing momentarily out of her Boy’s Own Annual German back into English to explain:
“A single European state, with no internal borders, ruled centrally by a clique of unelected, swivel eyed, right wing dictators – so simple you have to wonder why no one thought of it before,” she beamed munificently.