As the inner circle of Emperor Ming the Merciless collapses from within, so it would seem, with senior advisors quitting their positions, Emperor Ming has assured the citizens of planet Mongo that there is nothing to worry about.
Addressing the crowds, the emperor announced:
“People of Mongo, have no fear. Your emperor is still your emperor, and my leadership is as strong and stable as ever. Now is the time you must all get behind me as my loyal slaves, because your choice is between my strong and stable emperorship and the unrealisable fantasies of Flash Corbyn.”
When asked what is to be done about the planet Mongo dying from lack of resources, Ming replied simply, “we shall invade Earth. We shall use our special secret weapon, the Brexit Missile, to bamboozle them into submission.”
This drew cheers from one small swathe of the population, from whom the odour of pork was strongly detectable, but the rest of the crowd remained cynical. On test performances, the missile had exploded in the faces of anyone who set it off – including the recently-departed David Klytus and Boris Kro-Tan, who both resigned their positions within hours of each other yesterday.
Rumours that the emperor had had Flash executed in the gas chambers had been circulating since the morning, but Vince Vultan of the Liberal Hawkmen shouted out, “Corbyn’s alive!”
Flash’s girlfriend, Dale Abbott, has also confirmed this, and was reported to have said on seeing him alive, “Flash, I love you, but we only have three hundred and fifty million hours to save the world!”
Saving the world from Emperor Ming’s Brexit Missile would be tough enough even if they did have as long as Ms Abbott claimed. In point of fact they only have fourteen hours to save the world, making the job even harder. We wish them luck.