LCD Views can report with a sense of tension not felt since the discovery of no toilet paper inside 10 Downing Street, that the bad cop of British politics, Dirty Theresa Maybe, has chosen a .44 calibre customs model with which to threaten to blow the United Kingdom’s economy’s head clean off.
And more, she’s set for a Friday showdown with the criminal gang of serial offenders she is the symbolic head off.
”She’s arranged a meet of the full outfit at a disused industrial mansion in the Buckinghamshire countryside,” a well heeled munitions supplier to Dirty Theresa told us, “she’s going to isolate them and pick any subversives off one by one.”
It’s expected before dispatching any disloyal member of her long running syndicate, she will first deliver the killer line,
”This is a max fac customs proposal. It has never been built or commissioned before. It’s incredibly complex and the IT dynamics of facial and number plate recognition likely to be used will all most certainly lead to a militarisation of the Irish Border on day one of implementation.”
She will then pause, to let the words hammer in, before continuing from a script committed to memory but not intellect.
”It will likely see the death of thousands of medium sized and small employers in the first year of operation, leaving the big players to gobble up and dominate.”
Another pause.
”Now ask yourself a question, punk, do I want collective responsibility in blowing the UK’s economic head clean off?”
Well punks, do ya?