“Football means football,” a woman who sees it as her solemn duty to attach herself to England’s certain victory in the FIFA World Cup 2018 has written on a notepad.
”Football means football,” she repeats, several times, before adding, “and I mean to make a success of it.”
The speech is being prepared in advance and according to those in the know will be delivered regardless of the actual outcome of England’s 2018 campaign.
”England winning the World Cup is a tangible benefit of Brexit,” she will also say, “as we move forward as one nation with the other nations within our one nation subdued into their rightful positions of being subservient to my government, England’s victory brings glory and renewed national pride to Scotland, Northern Ireland, Wales and Kent.”
Football means football.
Queries as to whether or not it will be wise to claim England’s success if they lose have apparently been dismissed.
”What actually happens is no longer important to those in government,” the insider observes, “What is important is how the people will emotionally interpret events. We aim to make a success of it.”
So even if England should make a seamless, smooth and orderly withdrawal from the World Cup before the final, the speech will be delivered as written in advance?
”Yes. Once May constructs something in her mind reality must be made to fit or she can not function. Football means football.”
Will Germany’s early exit get a mention in the speech?
”Of course. No matter how many decades have passed, no matter what the current generations of German people may or may not have done to move on and make reparations for past generation’s horrors, your government is determined to whip up the gammon voting Brexit supporting electorate with constant reference to this awful chapter in our shared history. Germany’s premature exit only strengthens our hand in the Brexit negotiations.”
But South Korea knocked them out.
”And we aim to make a success of it.”