Recent studies from the University of Shambles, Westminster campus, suggest that Queen Elizabeth II’s famous EU hat has proven to be a stronger opposition to Brexit than the leader of the official opposition.
”It’s a bit of a surprise,” Professor Noshit Sherlock told us, “well, it is to some Momentum members. It’s not to anyone paying attention. To be frank myself and my colleagues should be focused solely on climate change and other social justice issues. Not on publishing mocking rants against the lock stock swindle of U.K. plc by modern fascists.”
But is there any realistic possibility of the Queen’s EU hat challenging the old Bennite Brexiter for leadership of the Labour Party?
”It couldn’t do a worse job faced with the most toxic, shambolic, embarrassing and cruel Tory administration anyone can remember. It consistently polls ahead of both May and Corbyn as preferred prime minister.”
It’s believed on the back of these revelations that certain yellow Tory shill Blairite scum are looking to form a party and have approached the hat to see if it will consider being leader.
”It has a mass of material to challenge the government with. When you consider the mass loss of investment, jobs, relevance, respect, the way Brexit has emboldened racists and made the U.K. a global laughing stock, the emerging revelations of criminality in the Brexit campaigns and the way they likely tie to senior serving cabinet ministers, the hat is going to be in Downing Street by mid summer on an anti-Brexit, jobs first agenda.”
If the cap fits?
”The UK will wear it.”