Success today for acclaimed biologist and evolutionary scientist Professor Faxenstuf with the publication of his paper proving human evolution has ceased.
”It may not be going too far to say it is now in reverse,” the professor told LCD Views this morning, at a star studded launch of his exhausted one hundred word paper.
But what does the professor put the abrupt halt to human biological and neurological evolution down to?
”Social media,” he answers, “it is mostly to blame. It has allowed pockets of the gene pool hitherto isolated to contact and procreaate retrograde and self-defeating psychological gene mutations in the service of parasitical organisms at a rate the natural cycle can not eliminate quickly enough to stop further inbreeding. We’re doomed. It’s the Tower of Babel all over again.”
Whats the bible got to do with it?
”Not a lot if you’re an elected official who proclaims to adhere to any particular set of religious teachings. Clearly.”
So is there any hope of stopping the spread of the genes driving human evolution in reverse?
”Laws banning the use of caps locks without passing a test similar to a driver’s license would be a start. It should help reduce the number of fateful pairings of ideological matches that help reverse the natural progression.”
Any other measures?
”People doing the smallest amount of flipping fact checking and research. Closing The Daily Mail and all the other tax exile owned rags, which provide nesting material. There’s many things.”
That’s good. So it’s not too late?
”I wouldn’t be so sure. Look at who is currently the most dominant alpha figures both sides of the pond.”
Fire Boris Johnson.
”Definitely. May actually be the silver bullet we need. Twinned with Drumpf’s looming impeachment of course.”