The “Ultimate boy”, Jeremy ‘I heart Brexit’ Corbyn, is to explain to more than one million university students why losing their birth right of freedom of movement, and being stuck on an island with men upset over ham based teasing, is all part of the “long game”.
“He’s going to do it at Glasto this year when he storms the stage again,” PR man for old Corbs, Mr Jacob Rees-mogg, told us during a morning’s beating about the bush.
“Imagine it, you’ve piled up over £50K worth of debt and there’s no jobs in the UK when you graduate. And now getting across the channel to the EU27 to find work for all that debt is a raft and paddle situation because May and Jezza together forever demanded the UK pull out of the single market. 80% of the economy. There’s clearly no way they would demand such a thing just to keep gammon faced idiots happy and voting for them?”
These are the same gammon that have been merrily screaming in CAPS ‘libtard snowflake cuck you lost get over it!!!,!,,,!!!’ all over social media for years, but now that a tag has stuck to their ideological viewpoint, they can’t handle it?
“Ironic isn’t it. Little gammon flakes.”
So tell us more about Glastonbury this year?
“Well, clearly the Corbynator is going to need an audience of young people like you find in the fields of Glastonbury to explain why losing freedom of movement and being stuck on an island with angry middle aged men and women is all worth it in the service of the long game.”
I’m sure he’s got it all worked out. I mean it makes sense. Why wouldn’t you keep whipping your MPs to either vote with the vilest and least competent Tory administration anyone can remember in order to move hard Brexit closer to reality?
“He’s moved to abstaining with the whip now. It’s very clever. Another long game play. Most voters will be so thick they think abstaining means voting against. Got to hand it to the old campaigner.”
But why not explain the benefits of losing FOM to over a million young people on television? Why choose Glastonbury?
“That’s obvious. In order to swallow it and continue believing in JC the one million plus young people will have to be completely off their collective faces on MDMA.”
Collective is a nice word.
“Yes. It goes well with farm. And that’s why we need to help Theresa May catastrophically limit the freedom of movement of everyone. Once we end freedom of movement for EU27 nationals to keep the gammon happy, who’s going to till the soils of mighty England if we let our young get away?”