The Houses of Commons has moved to get back on the front foot today after Nigel and Jacob’s fishy Thames stunt.
“We can trump that,” Iain Duncan Thick told LCD Views, “we’re currently arranging to micturate on the rights of 65M people plus.”
In what has been called “the great micturation bill”, more commonly known as the EU Withdrawal Stitch Up, Parliament will collectively tear up the right of everyone in the United Kingdom to travel, live, love, study and retire on the continent of Europe.
“We’ll make a serial chancer like Nigel throwing some dead fish into the Thames look like a cheap, unintentionally honest publicity stunt,” Iain Duncen Smith continued, “imagine the look on the face of a family when they borrow the money at ever rising interest rates to have a much needed break on the Costa del Sol, only to discover there are irregularities with their visa and they have to turn about and fly back home on the overpriced charter flight?”
This sounds like Global Britain will be a place people will notice.
”They will certainly point at us!” Irritable Duncen Shite agreed, “especially when a lorry bringing food relief from France breaks down leaving Dover and we all start eating our neighbour’s pets. Best to practice now looking honest when you say you haven’t seen Felix or Rex.”
But do you think all the MPs elected to use their best judgement can piss on the rights of 65M people at once?
”We may have to form an orderly queue and go one by one. Trench coats will be on hand for modest men and she-wee’s for the ladies. It’ll be a hoot, just like the ceremony after to start scrapping all that EU red tape.”
You mean legislation protecting people’s human rights, workplace rights, gender equality rights, safety standards, environmental protections and so forth?
”Yes. That’s what Brexit means. Make sure you wear a zippered fly for the ceremony. It’s going to be a celebration of the traditional values of disenfranchisement of lower orders for the enrichment of a few.”
Global Britain.