Britain’s greatest food bank advocate Jacob Rees-mogg, MP for Want, says watching Nigel Farage throw away food this morning was very uplifting.
”To see such a staunch advocate of 0.5% of the economy, people he really, really cares about, just throwing their produce away in a wanton display of waste almost made me incandescent in the downstairs,” Jacob told LCD Views, detouring on his way to a fish eugenics conference.
”It must have been what watching Jesus divide up a fish and some bread was like back in the 19th century when women didn’t talk; the birth of the world. I’m a little muddled. It was really something.”
The choice to waste food in public, in a country where Jacob’s government has seen working poverty and food bank use grow at a rate only matched by his investments offshore in a dodgy Russian bank, and to use the produce of the industry they’re pretending to care about, and make that an animal used as a symbol of Christianity and charity, is certainly a devious and heedy mix.
”Doing it near the Houses of Parliament just deepens the public relations coup,” Jacob adds, “last week my government voted to take away hot food from potentially 1.8 million poor children, and here I am today applauding food waste! Huzzah!”
It was certainly a stirring sight.
”Uplifting is the word I choose,” Jacob clarified, “outside Westminster we I eat on the public purse one moment and damn to penuary the next? What better choice.”
LCD Views commends the courage of Jacob and Nigel, to have fronted a lie for so many years now, and to continue to do it even now they’re exposed, that takes a special sort of individual.