“I am replete,” Theresa May said after winning her Commons showdown on school meals, “I am stuffed to the brim with pride. My Christian heart is full to satisfaction. What a good Vicar’s daughter am I.”
The reason for this feast of self congratulation was the defeat of a Labour motion in the Commons to protect the hot school lunches of one million poor children.
”This might be a little bit naughtier than running through the wheat?” Theresa May smirked, “the parents of those children have been taught a lesson about caring conservatives now.”
The stunning victory was secured in the awareness the SNP would not be voting on this English matter, and quite a bit of advanced menu planning for the votes.
”Those Old Testament types, the DUP, they agreed not to oppose my feast or famine penny pinching, see? We did a deal that Northern Ireland could keep the meals and England could not.”
Well, this is a fine example of the DUP meaning what it says about exact same conditions between their place and ours.
But how do you explain it to such a multitude of hungry little kids, whose only hot meal a day you may well have taken away?
”It’s simple. Traditional Victorian values, don’t you see?”
Do go on you old wheat stomper you.
”The poor children in Northern Ireland are the deserving poor.”
And the poor children in England?
”The poor children in my Victorian universe,” May went on to say, “why those one million are deserving of me. Because of the way their parents vote, don’t you see?”