Great news for the city of London today with the exciting announcement that famous tax funded aviator Liam Fox MP is to publicly list his accumulated air miles.
“We’re just cock-a-hoop,” Philip Maay, a trader who manages a small, non-tax paying, private, very private indeed, fund told LCD Views.
“This takes the pressure caused by Brexit right off the city. Forget the constant job losses.
Recently we’ve been forcing the Royals to entertain Saudi princes so thick and so fast they were starting to talk about a merger between the families. May have taken some smooth PR to sell it to the public, but think of all the money? Oil oil oil money. Mmmm.
It seemed the only solution for the Windsors, to both wave at poor people and do their bit as ‘soft power’ with tyrants.
It’s a key royal activity that. Talking executioners into throwing great mountains of blood money into the capital. Sometimes they even have to play polo sober. It’s a hell of a sacrifice for the country.
But plucky Liam has played a blinder with this one. Ever since he was given charge of the white elephant Department for International Trade, he’s invested heavily using public funds into air miles. Really canny stuff. Business class all the way.
People said he had nothing to show for it? Well, look here now! This is going to be one bull of a market.”
The value of stocks listed on the LSE is expected to triple, perhaps even quadruple the instant the listing goes live.
There is no fear of a crash in value either, the rising cost of air travel for British citizens caused by Brexit calamities will mean the air miles hold their value, never stop accumulating and are likely to be a boom unseen in modern times.
LCD Views commends Liam Fox MP for his vision and courage in helping to provide a contingency for the fiscal future of the United Kingdom.
God only knows what shape the country’s finances would be in if Liam Fox MP had never been involved spending millions.
Break open your rainy day money and pile it in the moment Liam Fox’s air miles go live!