The EU was instantly on the back foot after Donald Tusk’s desperate release of their unrealistic and bullying trade negotiation guidelines today as a video emerged of innocent BMW’s being drowned in a prosecco lake.
LCD Views received the video tape from a secret sauce that maybe tomato, but is more likely sweet and sour.
We will be uploading the damning video on all our platforms, just as soon as we have finished bidding for a third hand Betamax on EBay, and sourced a power cable for it.
”I can describe the heart rending scenes, if you’re sitting down?” Green Searchlight offered,
“make sure you have a glass of water or a gallon of vodka handy though. It’s one of the most edifying things I’ve ever seen. It broke our old state of the art Betamax player. I only managed to get the tape out before it burst into flames. So hot is the evidence that the EU is bluffing. That everything they’ve said is just an opening gambit. That a jobs first Brexit is the least we can expect.”
We’re ready.
”Okay. Most of it is filmed in infrared so it’s actually green,” Green begins, “you can see them leading a line of freshly painted BMW’s, just off the production line, down towards this shimmering lake.
It’s moonlight.
By the size of the moon I reckon this act to hide surplus luxury cars, that were once destined for the UK market, happened under the recent super moon.”
Green paused for a while, just to feel smug about Saint George, before continuing.
”One by one the BMW’s are pushed, pulled and dragged into the prosecco. It’s clearly a desperate attempt by the unelected, tyrannical, deluded plutoautomotocrats that run the megasuperstate EU, to hide the evidence of just how much the EU needs the UK.
If this video gets out on social media the EU is finished in the Brexit negotiations.
They will be forced to bend over and give us everything we demand.
Bespoke cherrycake and pie in sky mix on the table, no rules to follow, no money to pay. They’re over.
The farce of the last two years, during which they have repeatedly said the same stock thing each time one of our diversity loving, open handed, pluralistic public servants made a reasonable offer to help them out after we leave will be laid bare for all to see.”
Green stopped. He could smell the British victory that is now so near to hand.
LCD Views would like to thank the noble British heroes who got this damning EVIDENCE that the Brexiters are right into our hands.
Just wait until you see it.
The EU’s farcical red lines are dust.
England will surely win the battle of Britain now.
We will have our cakes and we will keep them, at least until they go mouldy and we realise we should have eaten them.
Who are you going to sell your cars to now EU? Who is going to drink that prosecco? Who is going to cut up the brie? If you’re lucky, in time, we’ll give you a jar of our jam.